you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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