That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
