fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize