..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize