We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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