i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
