i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
