it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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