it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
