We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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