It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
