Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
