i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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