he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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