Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
