You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
