You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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