I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
