chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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