new low.... made out with someone while peeing
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
