just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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