i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
