It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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