My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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