Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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