If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
