Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I am one with the molecules
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize