i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
