You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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