Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
