tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
