I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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