I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
