You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
where are my eyebrows?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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