is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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