ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Couch. On fire.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
