singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Randomize