Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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