i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Found your dick twin last night
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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