he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
