i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
