I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
