Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
