and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
home. puking in laundry basket.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
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