he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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