thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
