just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize