i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
My ass is underappreciated
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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