tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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