thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
