They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
