smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Randomize
