I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
