Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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