I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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